Friday, March 03, 2006

Psychic Cats

Yesterday was a bit of a trip. My work is by a production company, or maybe several, and one was casting for something that apparently required three things: blond bimbos, hot young Asian men, and a wide, wide variety of identical twins. So every 5 minutes or so, another member or members of this delightful parade walked by my window to the world. I saw hip young Asian men, bouncy boobs on blondes, slightly geeky young Asian men, young twins with afros, modeltastic young Asian men, ugly twins, more boobs, gay male twins in matching velvet blazers, boobs on stilts, and twins with their stage moms. To name a few.

None of this was as good as randomly seeing William H. Macy walking on the street like a normal person, and not the acting god that he is, during an errand in Beverly Hills that afternoon. And none of that was as good as riding two up on Sam's one person electric scooter, traveling somewhat sluggishly, but still more quickly and more amusingly than walking, to a party at his work last night. The party was actually for Tagworld, who are upstairs from him, and it was full of marketing people, so we couldn't stand if for long.

But that's when the most entertaining part of the day unexpectedly arrived. Walking home on the Promenade, we ran into the famed Santa Monica Psychic Cats. That's right. So I sit down with the cat handler, this sort of smelly foreign man, while my husband probably thinks I'm crazy, and I proceed to have a feline psychic reading.

What this entailed was first being shown several pieces of documentation proving that cats have psychic powers, such as a picture of a cat on a book about Egypt, a short story about a cat that did something I could not figure out because the laminated card cut off the end of the tale, no pun intended, I was told to disregard that, not important, not important. Cats are psychic, always have been. Especailly Siamese cats. It is well known. Yes? Yes. Then I looked briefly at a story about how one former president's favorite psychic claims that her cat is psychic, too! Good enough for me!

Meanwhile, the two psychic cats- Siamese, of course, rested underneath a kitty blanket, side by side, looking anything but pleased. The next step was selecting the subject I wanted to ask a question about from a laminated book the man provided. Then we turned to the appropriate page for me to pick one of a number of questions about the chosen subject. All of the questions were absolutely hilarious, but the one that caught my eye was, "What is going to happen to me?" I went with that one.

Then the man pulled a card and asked if I had children, which I don't, and don't really think I want, but he said, "It's children, yes, it's children. That is what. Very good, very happy, very good family. Lucky. Everything good." Ok, here's where the cats come in. The man says the cats will now choose my fortune. He uncovers them to reveal they are both wrapped in what look like strips of old sweaters. The effect is somewhat pathetic, and mummyish. He gives one cat a small piece of tuna while he makes little prompting noises at it, and then produces a very strange ceramic monkey that holds a bowl full of small scrolls. The cat, once given enough tuna, pushes the monkey's arm down, which grabs a scroll for me. The cat takes the csroll from the monkey, I take the scroll from the cat. Much ado is made of this, and the other cat seems non plussed.

The scroll reads as follows: "You should be rich, your time will come. Take advantage of it. Your social life will pick up considerably. Use all that could be instrumental towards your good fortune. Let's shake hands.- Psychic Cat, Los Angeles"

OK, then. At this point the original cat does the same thing with the tuna, but now grabs a little card that I also take from its paws, which is even better: "All outbursts will happen around you and give you valuable opportunities. Reward is just about due. Finances will improve within three weeks. You are at your glamorous best now. I kiss you....your psychic cat." and the other side has a picture of one of the cats, who is holding a scroll and wearing lots of jewelry. It also has the word "Wizard" on it, which I think is the name of the main cat.

I'm wondering what the point is of the 2nd cat, or if it is a psychic cat in training. But when it came time to pay the 2nd cat also ate some tuna in exchange for taking my payment out of my hand. So maybe only that first one is psychic and the 2nd one is the treasurer.

It was rad.

2 Comments:

Blogger adriana said...

i...can't...stop...laughing...

10:26 AM  
Blogger Dollar Video Curator said...

Oh my god. I can't believe you didn't mention this last night!
Please please may I run into psychic cats one day soon....

2:42 PM  

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